


Why is Yuri Like This?

by Emeraldxoxo



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: F/M, Implied AU, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Short & Sweet, is nothing sacred, rottenshipping bias is strong, yuri doesn't know how to eat like a human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:29:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeraldxoxo/pseuds/Emeraldxoxo
Summary: Only Yuri could make eating look phallic.Alternatively: For $100 a Day, Yuri Will Stop





	Why is Yuri Like This?

**Author's Note:**

> god i love rottenshipping

Their first mistake was asking Yuri to go grocery shopping. _Honestly_ one would _think_ he could follow the list Yuto put together but Yuri was never one to follow orders. Their second mistake was being in the kitchen.

Maybe it’s a joke, though the boys can never tell with Yuri, but it’s decidedly more and more difficult to be in the kitchen while Yuri cooks. He makes a _god damn show out of it_.

Mainly from the four focal ingredients presented on the counter like a fucking prized pony at the fair. They get the joke (since Yuri made _sure_ they understood in high school that their ridiculous hair resembled food more than hair) and that’s when everything begins to fall apart.

_Seriously_ what is he _making_?

Yugo's eating cereal out of a salad bowl, Yuto’s on his fourth cup of coffee and Yuya’s scarfing down pancakes so fast someone might lose a hand if they went for one. Yuri hasn’t even touched the ingredients in front of him, he just stares down at his roommates like the ants he used to light on fire with magnifying glasses in the second grade.  

So when he reaches for the eggplant, Yuto’s knuckles turn white. There’s something about the way he washes it that has Yuto looking anywhere else and Yuya near engrossed in watching. Yugo remains oblivious. The fruit has never been caressed the way Yuri is stroking it, as though he’s punishing it for disobeying him but he’s still going to pleasure it to the point of torture.

“Hey, Yuri?” Yuto says, his voice tripping slightly over Yuri’s name. “I think it’s clean.”         

Yuri smirks. Shit. “You’re probably right but it’s good to be thorough. I wouldn’t put something _dirty_ in my mouth, now would I?” He licks a bead of water off the eggplant, sliding his tongue up the length of the eggplant. Yuya’s turning an interesting shade of red and Yuto chokes on his coffee. Yuri ruins the moment by squashing the eggplant in his hand and tossing the carcass into the sink. Yuto winces. Yuri does, however, suck eggplant juice off his slender fingers.

He moves onto the banana next, peeling it slowly. He rubs his thumb over the tip of the banana. Yugo almost swallows his spoon. Yuri’s sharp eyes linger on Yugo’s face as he “accidentally” deep-throats the banana.

“Jesus _Christ_ Yuri, do you _not_ have a gag reflex?” Yugo gasps out, having swallowed a mouthful of cereal whole at that debacle.

Yuri chews slowly, having only bitten off just the tip. “Haven’t had one since freshmen year of high school. What, do _you_ still have one?”

Yugo doesn’t have a response so he drowns himself in his cereal. Yuri winks at Yuya. He takes a few more bites of the banana, his eyes never leaving Yugo’s face and making him feel increasingly more uncomfortable in his trousers. And of course, seeing Yuri eat parts of the fruit he had just deep-throated is sending Yugo mixed messages.

He seems to get bored of the banana when Yugo diverts his full attention back to his cereal and Yuto’s frantically texting Yuzu about this absurd situation because he discards the banana when he’s only eaten about a quarter of it. Yuya wonders if his token fruit is next but he’s sorely disappointed when Yuri rips off a chunk of red cabbage and chews it thoughtfully.

“Isn’t that cannibalism?” Yuya asks, feeling his body temperature return to normal.

Yuri chuckles, flicking a piece of cabbage in Yuya’s general direction. It lands in Yuto’s coffee. “I believe the correct term is autocannibalism.” The cabbage is the only one he bothers to salvage before he sets his sights on the tomato.

This time, when he winks at Yuya, Yuya wonders if someone messed with the thermostat. “Wow is it getting hot in here?”

From where Yuya’s sitting, it almost looks like Yuri kisses the tomato. At the very least, he holds the fruit to his lips, his predatory gaze pinning Yuya in place. His teeth sink into the skin of the fruit and Yuya’s breath strangles him.

Yuri sucks a bit of the juice from the tomato and the euphemism basically bludgeons Yuya. Yuya feels himself stir to life and he curses Yuri. Yuri reduces the tomato to a mere husk, licks his shiny pink lips and drops the tomato skin. Yuya is both horrified that Yuri could even _do_ that to a tomato and intensely aroused. Damn him.

“Is this because we made you buy groceries?” Yugo asks, readjusting himself.

“YUP,” Yuri says, rounding the table to drop the abandoned banana in Yugo’s unfinished bowl of cereal. “Do I look like a fucking personal shopper? If I have to go out, at least send Yuya to keep me company.”

Yuya flushes a brighter red than his hair. Yuto rolls his eyes so hard he may have given himself a migraine. “Do you have to be such a _bastard_?”

Yuri plunks himself down on the table beside Yuya’s forgotten plate of pancakes, walking his fingers along Yuya’s arm. “Have you _met_ me, Yuto?” he sniffs, indigent. “I consider myself to be more on the lines of ‘loveable asshole’ and ‘my liege’.”

“Unbelievable,” Yuto says but they know it’s completely believable. “Well I’m late meeting Yuzu now thanks to… Yuri’s show, so see you later tonight.” He slams back his coffee, choking slightly on the cabbage and flies out of the kitchen.

“That withering glare from Yuto was hot,” Yuri comments, teasing circles on Yuya’s palm.

“You’re insatiable,” Yuya breathes and Yuri leans down to press a searing kiss against Yuya’s parted lips. The oddest (yet still incredibly intoxicating) combination of banana, tomato and eggplant lingers on Yuri’s tongue as he slips it into Yuya’s mouth.

"And goodbye,” Yugo says quickly, tossing his bowl into the sink and sprinting out of the kitchen as fast as his legs could carry him.

“We’re going to be late,” Yuya mutters, slipping his hand between Yuri’s thighs.

Yuri’s lips curl upwards. “Like I care – besides, I’ve always wanted to fuck you against the counter.” Yuya shudders and yanks Yuri into another kiss. He going to make Yuri demonstrate just _how_ good at swallowing he really is.

Unanimously, it’s decided Yuri is banned from grocery shopping by himself and from being alone in the kitchen with Yuya. Yuto and Yugo won’t make _that_ mistake again.

**Author's Note:**

> this is ridiculous and i love it lmao if i wasn't so tired this might have gone somewhere else and in a different direction ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
